Hi everyone! So yesterday, I had decided that if DolphinGirl didn’t talk to me this morning, then I would understand it as a signal that it is over and I would not bother her after that. She didn’t. She completely ignored me. As a result, I decided that enough was enough and I would not spend the rest of my day grovelling for her forgiveness when she could not understand the simple fact that it was her fault as well. So I put on my best happy face, and boy, did it work. I was laughing and smiling and talking all day, and she was so hurt when she noticed I wasn’t begging for her to come back. I know I’m sounding really rude and mean, but I felt like that.
Then in the afternoon, I apologised again, when we were in the hospital, waiting to go back to school (the fieldtrip) because I felt that it was too stupid to not give her a second chance. To my surprise, she accepted. We both maintain this sort of journal where we write our innermost thoughts, and through that she told me that she knew it was her fault too, and so she forgave me. I can’t help but think I will never look at her in the same way again. I will probably never look at someone the same way again. She has damaged my feelings irrevocably, and now whatever I do, I can’t bring that old me back. I no longer feel close to anyone, not even her. This is a violation of our parabatai bond, but yeah. She’s still the person I trust the most in the world though. I will always trust her with my life. But I won’t get close to anyone ever again, not like that, where their disappearance can kill me.
Also, the fieldtrip was fun. We had so much stuff to learn, and we saw a kidney dialysis happening, and other things. It was good. And my mom made the best veggie rolls ever. So today was a changed day, if not a normal one. Has anyone gone through a similar experience? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Invisible Girl, becoming visible again~