The Ocean of Thoughts

Silent Tears

Life had been treating me nicely till now. I’d been getting amazing marks in my tests, and everything was going smoothly. So obviously, I had to do something to ruin it. Today, in math class, my teacher was saying something about going ahead. To which my best friend, DolphinGirl, just said bye. I laughed out loud, and I told everyone what she had said. At that time, I had thought it was just a funny joke. But later the math teacher came and scolded her in front of me. She talked about how she never expected this stuff from her, and she had thought that DolphinGirl respected elders, among other stuff. She really loves this teacher, cause she teaches math. And I destroyed all of that in an instant. She stopped talking to me, and even going near me, and honestly? I don’t blame her. I haven’t talked to her the entire day, because she wanted space, and I really don’t know what to do. It’s horrible. I was in tears almost the entire day, and now I’m keeping my cool because I slept in the bus and as a result I’m not feeling that emotional anymore. I was laughing and smiling in class. When I don’t want to cry or get angry, I bury it deep inside. As a result I don’t feel that emotion anymore, and nor do I even think about the incident. That’s what I did today. I think she took offence.

Well, anyway, we have a fieldtrip tomorrow. We’re going to a hospital to see the process of kidney dialysis. I can’t wait! I’ll try to fit in all my details tomorrow. It’s going to be fun, I think. If DolphinGirl leaves me alone, I think I’ll be able to move on. She is or was my best friend of two years, and we both are as thick as thieves. I’ve never been so close to anyone before, because I have a fear of people leaving me. That fear is coming true, again. I probably won’t trouble anyone anymore. It’s not worth making friends only for them to leave you, whether it’s your fault or theirs. 

A few weeks ago, my dad called me vulnerable for crying so much. I hope he will be proud to know that today was the first day I cried after a month. 
Invisible Girl, becoming visible again~

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